Our Donor Connection

A few weeks ago our stem cell coordinator, Cathleen, called me. She told me that she had been in contact with the National Marrow Donor Program, and Phoenix had become eligible to reach out to her bone marrow donor. In order to get this clearance, a transplant patient has to be a year post-transplant, in remission, and classified by doctors as healthy and successful. Also the donor must have expressed interest in being connected to the patient. Cathleen would send me some papers to sign and then I would be able to reach out and communicate with the person who saved my child’s life. I would be able to see the person’s face…and say thank you…and celebrate this milestone…if and when I signed these papers.

I told her I needed time to think about it. Huh? The only person that I talked with about it was my husband. Instead of celebratory, it felt like a 5-ton weight was tossed upon me. What? We have been doing so well at moving forward, in a positive motion, rolling into a regular and (dare I say) normal life…and this discussion pounded me. Why? Here is why... I was immediately reminded that somebody had to donate marrow in order to save my Phoenix. So instantly I am taken back in time, to not that long ago, when her life had to be saved. Translation: She was in a position where her life might not be saved. Translation: She could die. After everything we have been through, on this cancer road, the transplant process was absolutely terrifying. Remembering that nightmare is heartbreaking. And although the transplant was a success, we live in the world of childhood cancer where kids relapse, for no known reason, every single day.

It took a couple of weeks to process and work through the tough stuff. Eventually I started thinking less about the completely-out-of-my-control future and more about this donor. He had signed the consent. He wanted to know the story and face behind his procedure and donation. Wouldn’t he be amazed by Phoenix’s journey! How could I not share her freckles and smile and hilarious sense of humor?! I thought of his smile when he might see hers…and then I knew how much I wanted to say thank you. So I signed the papers…and wrote the most important thank you note ever written, to our hero, who turns out to be a guy named Brett. I am SO glad I did.

Brett at The University of Wisconsin hospital, where
his bone marrow was collected, and then transported
to Phoenix at Riley Hospital in Indianapolis.

Brett Kasper is a 21 year-old student at the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh, where he is the quarterback for the Oshkosh Titans! I have corresponded with Brett and his mom Linda and I am just overwhelmed by the spirit, compassion, faith, service and love of the Kasper family, which includes dad Ken and beautiful sister Kayla. Brett became connected with Be the Match when his coach, Pat Cerroni, rallied the entire Titans football team to get on the donor registry. It gave me goose bumps when I learned that after Brett was chosen to be Phoenix’s donor, his college campus held a drive, and put over 300 students on the registry! Tears were flowing when I read Linda’s email and she told me that during Phoenix’s transplant, the Kaspers had prayers coming from family, the whole Titans football team, friends and co-workers…all for this little girl that they didn’t even know. A whole community of prayer was happening for Phoenix, in Wisconsin, and we didn't even know. This is awesome. This is the kind of thing I refer to as a real.big.deal.

Brett, on the day his marrow was collected, with Be The Match
reps Arthur Frielund, Kelli Vander Wielen, and mom Linda
dressed in her game day Titan spirit wear!

When I asked Phoenix what she would like to say to Brett, she said, "Thank you for saving my life. God bless you." Of course I could never put into words how truly thankful I am for Brett…but I am so glad that our family can now know and keep him and his family as part of ours.

Yes, we have lived through some dark days. Those days will never be forgotten, but they should never overshadow the light. It amazes me when I am reminded that there is so much good in the world.

Brett and his family have joined our “Friends and Family of Phoenix Bridegroom” Facebook page, so they will be able to see any kind words left as comments on my posts. Phoenix will be back at Riley Hospital's outpatient clinic in May for her next checkup, so please keep her in your prayers and I will post an update at that time. Thank you, everyone, for continuing to pray for Phoenix in her cancer-free life. God bless you.