Prom at Riley

We are going to the 4^th annual Riley Cancer Center Prom in May.  It is an event for cancer patients, their families, and the oncology staff that has cared for them.  Everything is complimentary, including dresses, jewelry, spa treatments, dinner, and of course dancing.  Sounds nice… sorta.  A really nice party that you never ever want an invitation to. Yeah.

We were inpatient at Riley, in the midst of a god-awful stay, last year during prom time.  We were dealing with seizures, blood clots on the brain, pancreatitis, mucositis, IV nutrition, diapers every 10 minutes….a head to toe rash, transfusions, morphine, EEG’s, constant vomiting…sigh.  It sounds so bad, I know… and in reality, it was much worse.  

So there I was on prom day.  I saw many kids coming up to visit their nurses, and show off their suits and dresses, and I thought they were so adorable.  I walked by a teenage girl, wearing a gorgeous gown, with a beautiful bald head, and overheard her instructing her mom on how she wanted her wheelchair decorated.  Our nurses and a social worker stopped by our room multiple times to assure me that if Phoenix wanted to go, they would make it happen.  I politely told them “no” and then wondered why in the hell they would even ask.  I prayed for a day when she would be feeling so good that she would want to dance.

People have asked me this year, why would we go back for an event like this?  Because we have to.

As much as Phoenix can fit right in with everyone’s regular kids…she needs to have the opportunity to be with other kids with the same issues.  I don’t want Phoenix to fit in there… but she feels happy to be around other girls with no hair.  She understands her own situation better when she sees another child with a feeding tube going into their nose.  She is reminded that it’s not just her.  We all like to have that reassurance that we are not alone in our experience.

Being a part of the cancer community is a hard circle to run in.  As time goes by, and we live at home, I can trick myself into feeling like I am out of that world.  I want to be out of it.  However, I do love sharing stories with the other parents, and relaying information about protocols and side effects, and hearing the progress of their sweet kids as they move forward through treatment phases.  I am not looking forward to seeing so many sick kids in one place.  Some will be healthy looking, and some will not be able to hide how ill they are.  That is how it goes. 

Everything at this party will be geared towards making these kids smile and making them feel like superstars.  Phoenix is already SO excited.  And so all of us parents…we will all try to ignore the common bond that we have that night… and celebrate with our children, at a party designed especially to give them one amazing night, and we will be thankful to be there…and to be here.